


Invisible Harm

by VengeanceAngel



Series: Writer's Block 101 [3]
Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series), Karate Kid (Movies)
Genre: And he damn well GETS one, Bullying from a parental figure, Depression, Emotional Abuse, Funeral, Gen, Johnny Lawrence needs a hug, Period-Typical Homophobia, SUPER brief mention of AIDS/HIV, Sad Johnny Lawrence, mention of past suicide attempts, mention of suicidal thoughts, mourning and grief, visiting a grave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:41:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29530017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VengeanceAngel/pseuds/VengeanceAngel
Summary: Johnny visits the cemetery
Relationships: Amanda LaRusso/Daniel LaRusso, Daniel LaRusso & Johnny Lawrence, Daniel LaRusso/Johnny Lawrence, Only if you squint hard at the very end
Series: Writer's Block 101 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137365
Comments: 16
Kudos: 33





	Invisible Harm

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know... it just came to me and I wanted to really rip Johnny apart. Hopefully it's not too harsh. 
> 
> TW: Thoughts of suicide, mention of past suicide attempts, Depression, Grief, Emotional abuse, Brief mention of AIDS/HIV due to sex work comment

Johnny sits on the cold bench, grateful that the snow hasn’t come yet, and clutches the white roses he bought at the flower shop down the street. He glances over at the group of people across the cemetery from him and frowns. Death isn’t kind and he looks away and down at the ground. He glances up at the stone in front of him and shakes his head. It makes him sick to see Sid’s name next to his mother’s. He doesn’t understand why that man isn’t in the ground right now. His mother is… _was_ beautiful and vibrant and her life ended far too soon. But Sid lives on. 

He places the roses down on his mother’s grave and rests his elbows on his knees. He wants to talk to her. But he doesn’t like that there are people within his sight. They can see him if they look. He’s under a tree, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t be able to see. And talks with his mother are supposed to be private. 

He bites down on his lower lip then. Talks with his mother won’t be private anymore when Sid is here with her. Sid is going to rest with her forever and he’s not going to go away. Just like when Johnny came home after losing the tournament to LaRusso. 

_Johnny runs into the house and toward the stairs._

_“Hey! Get your ass in here! You were supposed to be gone for the night!”_

_Laura sighs as she walks into the foyer from the dining area and calls back into the room. “Sid, stop…” She turns and stops suddenly. “Oh my God… Johnny, what happened?” She rushes forward and almost touches his face, but stops when he flinches. She’s seen him after fights, but he’s never looked like this. “Baby…”_

_Johnny shakes his head. “Don’t. It’s nothing I can’t handle. It’s… normal. I just usually clean up first.”_

_Laura puts a hand to her mouth in shock. “Oh… Honey, I had no idea.”_

_Johnny looks up at her then, not sure how to respond to her. “Yeah? Did you have any idea that the tournament was tonight? Did you know that I stood there and heard everyone yelling and cheering and nobody was there for me?”_

_Laura frowns. “You know how he feels about me babying you and-“_

_“Babying me? Karate means… meant something to me. Afterward, the guys invited me along to celebrate, but I would have had to pick whose parents to ride with. Because all of theirs were there and mine…” He shrugs helplessly. “Where were you?”_

_“Please don’t start. I love you, but have you forgotten what I do for you? I keep Sid happy and he keeps us happy. You should be grateful that you don’t have to do anything to get all of these wonderful things. I’m doing this for you.”_

_Johnny’s eyes widen and brighten, as he takes in what she’s telling him. “I don’t have to do anything? Are you kidding me? Mom, how…. How often do you sit and listen to him tell you how worthless I am? How can you stand it? I’m… I’m your kid. I’m the kid you used to sing lullabies to and hug when I scraped my knee and… and I’m him, mom. It’s me and you act like I’m a stranger and this guy gets to say whatever shit he wants to say and you can’t be bothered to care!”_

_“What the hell is going on?” Sid’s voice booms through the foyer as he enters the room. “What are you doing home?”_

_Laura sighs. “He had a tournament and it’s over so he’s home instead of celebrating.”_

_Sid studies the boy and sighs. “You look like shit. Did you win?”_

_Johnny shakes his head and winces when Sid barks out a harsh laugh._

_Laura crosses her arms. “Oh. I guess I should have asked… So you lost, but… did you try your best?”_

_Sid laughs again. “His best? He doesn’t have any ‘best’ to give. So you didn’t win. I suppose you expect me to keep paying for you to be a loser?”_

_Johnny shrugs. “I won the last two years. And I came in second this time and-“_

_Sid moves around Laura to stand in front of Johnny. “Second… So you’re saying you already peaked. So I can stop paying?”_

_Johnny nods. “I quit so… yeah.”_

_Sid laughs again. “You quit! Why am I not surprised? Useless. That’s what you are. You’re never going to be anything important, you know that, right? You’re a waste, kiddo. Your mom could have had the world, but no. You kept her from that. Thank goodness she found me. I was willing to overlook her…. Mistake.”_

_Laura gasps softly. “Sid, that’s enough. He’s had a rough night and I know that you’re just…” She rubs Sid’s shoulder and smiles at him fondly. “I know you planned on being alone with me tonight. I’m sorry you’re disappointed.”_

_Johnny’s mouth drops open. “Wait… what? What about me? You don’t think I’m disappointed? I lost tonight and nobody was there for me and then my sensei…. He tried to…” He shakes his head. “Ali was there with LaRusso and my friends were… they were forced to…. And I did things that I’m not proud of and then he won. And then I had my trophy and I was… I was proud. I was proud that I did so well because… because I did! Do you know how many people I had to beat just to…” He feels his chest constricting. “And then he… he was mad and he threw it away and he…” He puts his hand to his throat. “I did everything for him! He said he was proud! He said-“ The sound finally breaks through and he looks up in horror to see Sid laughing at him._

_“Wow… you’re more of a loser than I thought. Are you crying right now?”_

_Johnny looks between Sid and his mother. He doesn’t know what happened. He just started crying and letting everything out to his mother like he used to do and he was hoping that she’d wrap her arms around him and tell him that he was special and good enough and how could he forget that Sid was there…. Listening._

_Laura pats Johnny’s arm awkwardly, not knowing quite what to do with Sid standing there. “Honey… um, why don’t you go take a nice bath and I’ll be up to talk-“_

_“The hell you will. This is our evening together. This loser can stay out of sight for awhile. And I’m not sure you need to be alone with him anymore. You’re making him soft again.” He frowns. “And you will go back to that karate school of yours. I paid through your senior year.”_

_Johnny shakes his head. “I can’t… please…”_

_Sid takes Laura’s elbow and guides her back to the dining room. “Don’t beg, boy. At least not yet. Save it for when you finally prove to everyone that you’re not worth the skin that’s holding you together. Beg someone then to maybe throw you a bone.” He laughs again and looks at Laura. “Thank God the boy got your looks, baby, or he’d be looking at living in soup kitchens for a living.” He glances back at Johnny. “Hope your knees are strong. Probably going to be the only thing you’re good for, at least until that disease for those types rots you from the inside out.”_

_Johnny watches them disappear and wonders once again why he even bothers._

He isn’t aware that he started crying while thinking back to that night. He only knows that he’s buried his face in his hands and he can’t breathe properly. He doesn’t cry. At least he hasn’t for a very long time. He holds it together. Going back to Cobra Kai after the tournament had fucked him over for a long time. Every day was the same thing. None of his friends were there and the guys who weren’t at the tournament, who hated Johnny already for being on top… Kreese just gave them all a free pass to use Johnny as their sparring dummy. He fought them off well for the first few minutes, but Kreese encouraged them all to practice at once and, although strong, he was no match for nearly a dozen young teens hell bent on taking him down. 

He finally manages to get a breath in, but it comes out far louder than he wants it to and sounds more like a strangled sob. He presses his hands against his mouth, trying again to stifle himself, but it just comes out loud again. He leans his head down and interlaces his fingers behind his head, hoping he can curl up and nobody will see him. 

But then he opens his eyes and sees Sid’s name again and he lets the tears fall. He’ll never have a moment alone with his mother again once Sid dies. He’ll never come here and feel like he can find some sort of peace. He’ll truly have nowhere to go.

He’s vaguely aware of the sound of footsteps approaching. He sees a pair of high heeled boots and nothing else. Then a gentle voice softly says his mother’s name, probably reading it from the stone. “Oh….” High Heeled Boots moves and sits next to him on the bench. “Your mom… 

He feels a hand on his back then, rubbing small circles between his shoulder blades. He doesn’t know what it is about this person, but there’s a kindness radiating from her that reminds him so much of his mother before she traded his soul for a mansion. He has to wonder what his life would have been like if he’d been blessed enough to be grateful instead of resentful for every day. 

He tries to stop sobbing, but it keeps breaking through and it isn’t long before High Heeled Boots shifts and pulls him toward her. He finds himself embraced within the warmth from her wool coat and the scent of something that smells oddly like cinnamon, sugar, and vanilla. He takes in a deep breath and it takes him to a safe place in his mind where he can rest for just a moment. But only for a moment because nobody is here anymore. He’s alone. 

He realizes that he said that out loud as the hand that had been on his back trails up to his hair and brushes it back over and over again. “Shhh… You’re not alone.” The voice is even softer then. “Hey…. Come here….” He thinks that the person is mouthing the words to someone and he only hears them because he’s so close. 

He chokes on another sob. “I want my mom.”

“I know…. I’m so sorry.”

He shakes his head. “I’m such a failure. I never…. She never saw me do anything good. I just… I want her back. I want to show her that I can be good. I can…. She can be proud. I want… I want my mom. I want to be with her. I want this to be over.” 

He feels High Heeled Boots rest her cheek against the top of his head and he knows that she’s crying, too. 

And then he hears a voice he knows all too well. “Johnny… Johnny, God…” 

He looks up into Daniel LaRusso’s red-rimmed eyes. “Fuck…” But then his eyes look past his former rival to Amanda LaRusso, who has her hands up to her mouth as if she’s in prayer. Her cheeks are covered in wetness and she is trembling as if she wants to reach out to him, but isn’t sure how to make herself move. 

He sits up and turns to see who High Heeled Boots is and finds himself face to face with Samantha. His humiliation complete, he stands up. “I’m sorry. I… um… Yeah, sorry.” He wipes at his eyes and tries to walk away. 

“Johnny, no. Don’t…” Daniel grips Johnny’s arm. “Please don’t go.”

Johnny shakes his head and pulls away. “I don’t….” He turns and looks at Samantha, ashamed. “I shouldn’t have… I didn’t mean to-“

Samantha takes a deep breath. “Sensei Lawrence… you’re hurt. And… it’s okay to need help. Miguel tells me how good you are to him. He tells me that you laugh with him and talk to him and that… he goes home to his mom and grandma and you go home alone. And um…” She looks over toward her parents. “He uh…. He’s told me… only because he’s upset, not because he’s betraying you or anything, but… he tells me about when…” She gestures to the stone. “He tells me about when _he_ comes to visit and the things he says.” 

“What things?” Daniel focuses on his daughter. 

Sam sighs. “It’s bad. Like… really bad.” 

Amanda walks closer then. “Johnny… you said that… you wanted this to be over. Did you mean…”

Johnny shrugs. “It’s fine. Trust me, I’m a failure at _everything_. This is no different.”

Sam looks over at her dad. “Anthony _is_ back at the boarding school until May so… we have room.”

Johnny frowns. “Whoa…”

Amanda nods. “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”

Johnny wraps his arms around himself. “I told you. I’m fine. I just…I need to go.”

Daniel moves quickly and stands in front of him. “Johnny, nobody is going to force you to come home with us. I promise. But I’m not leaving you alone. You’re scaring me. I don’t want to find out that you did something and that I… that I could have stopped it.”

Johnny sniffs as his nose starts to run a bit. “Hey, that’s not on you, alright? I’m not… I mean I won’t. Okay?”

Amanda shakes her head. “No. You’re coming back with us or we’re taking turns staying at your place. Either way, you will not be alone. Not anymore.”

Johnny shrugs and the tears start up again. “You’re just… You can’t do this. You don’t understand. I ruin… _everything_.” 

“What is going on over here?” The voice behind him is new and he turns toward it to see a lovely older woman looking very impatient. “Is this the guy who was falling apart while we were burying Nora?”

“I… I’m sorry.”

Lucille LaRusso shakes her head. “Don’t be. Nora was 99. She didn’t know most of the people standing there anyway. She’s better off with the people she loves holding her now.”

“Ma!” Daniel clears his throat. “Please… now is not the time.”

“What did I say?” She goes with Amanda as the younger woman leads her away.”

Johnny takes a deep breath and sighs it out. “She’s right, you know.” He turns back to Daniel and Samantha. “That woman is probably better off. But me… there’s nobody. Not here. Not… wherever there is. I don’t think there’s one person in the entire world who actually cares about me living or dying. Fuck… that’s pathetic…”

Samantha reaches toward him. “Please don’t say that. You’re so… good and maybe nobody paid enough attention to how hard you try.”

Daniel shoves his hands in his pockets. “I never once thought of you as anything other than the guy who bullied me. I never bothered to find out who you really are… what makes you tick. I took for granted that you were happy since you were rich. But… I know that’s not true.”

Johnny is about to tell him to stop when Lucille’s voice rings out again. “What?” Suddenly, he hears Amanda calling the woman’s name and he turns toward her. The small woman is formidable and it’s not difficult to see where Daniel gets his spunk. He’s almost amused as she grabs his upper arms and gives him a small shake. “Now you listen to me, young man! I wasn’t happy with you when you were younger, but you were a child. You’re a man now and it’s not right that you went so long without someone telling you what you mean to people.” She takes a deep breath. “I don’t know your ma, but I know what it means to _be_ a mother and honey, you will break her heart if you do anything to end things before they should be ended. You are someone’s sweet baby boy and I know that you didn’t feel it for whatever reason, but the first time you kicked her. The first time she held you. The first time you smiled at her. Oh honey… that’s precious and you did that. Please… please don’t think for a second that you’re not amazing. I’m so sorry that your life beat you up until you forgot that.” 

It isn’t until the woman is wiping at his cheeks that he realizes he’s crying again. “I…” 

She shakes her head. “No, no more talk from you. It’s time you rest. Now, we’re going back to Daniel’s house and you’re going to sit and get some food in you and then… then we’ll talk about the rest. For now, you need people and we’re those people so… let’s go.” She loops her arm through his and escorts him toward her son’s car. 

Johnny isn’t sure what to do, but he doesn’t want his car sitting there when the snow starts. He pulls his keys out of his jacket and turns, stopping Lucille for a moment. “LaRusso, I’m trusting you.” He tosses the keys. 

Daniel steps forward to grab them and freezes when he realizes that the keys are being tossed to his daughter instead. He looks at Amanda. “Really?”

She smirks and then gestures to her daughter. “Come on. I’m riding shotgun in that bad boy.” 

Daniel throws his hands up in mock frustration as he watches his wife and daughter walk away. 

“Daniel! Get a move on!”

He looks back to see his mother in the back seat with Johnny next to her, pulled in so she can rub her hand up and down one of his arms. 

“Oh come on…” He sighs and turns back to the stone. He frowns at Laura’s name. “I don’t know how this happened, but I hope you didn’t mean to cause so much damage.” He looks at the name on the other side of the stone. The one without a date after the hyphen. “Sid… I look forward to meeting you in the next day or two…” He squares his shoulders and walks toward the car. He might not have been there when he was too young to know better and he might be decades too late to be much of a hero, but he’s damn well going to let Sid Weinberg know that Johnny Lawrence is _not_ alone and the people in his corner aren’t giving him up without a fight because he _is_ worth it.

He gets into the car and looks in the rearview mirror to see his mother’s sad gaze and Johnny’s haunted one. “I’m not giving up on you, Johnny.” 

Johnny meets his eyes in the mirror and then lets his eyes close. He squeezes them shut like he’s trying to block something out. But then he opens his eyes and looks at his former rival again with something like hope. “Thanks. You’re…” He smiles and Daniel wonders if the other man knows how beautiful he is when he does that. “You’re alright, LaRusso.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it. I really love putting a lot of emotion into my work so... there it is.


End file.
